Super______________(Fill in the Blank)

This morning while reading my morning devotional emails, one struck me with an "AHA" moment.  Now I have read it (and heard it) before but today it really hit me - Did you know that "Super Mom (or fill in the blank with anything that fits you) is a Fairy Tale!  This morning's devotional on ibelieve was a great story that made me think about where I am today...

Since Belinda is grown and I have passed the "super mom" stage in my life, it doesn't mean that I am not still trying to be "Super Wife" or "Super Consultant/Director". In the past, I wasn't trying to be anything - I was just juggling all of the balls (work, Belinda's cheering schedule, house, family, church, etc) and most days it seemed to work. Now, I am learning how to juggle (or the new word is "balance) new things. This statement stood out for me "When you look around and see other mothers who appear to be “mothering” better than you, don’t be fooled. They are probably doing whatever it takes....".  Yes, I still compare myself to others.  Yes, I am still trying to do it all.  This morning I am re-grouping, remembering how I use to do the "super mom" thing and applying it to the new struggles in my life  

I am trying to be "Super Consultant", "Super Wife", "Super Family Member" and "Super Employee (at my part-time job)".  GUESS WHAT???? I felt like I was failing in all areas then I read this line in the article "Successful mothers are not the ones who have never struggled. They are the ones who never give up, despite the struggles."  For me, the word "balance" seemed to create new visions of how my life/ schedule should be in a perfect world.  In reality, I need to just learn (or re-learn) how to manage my time and my schedule.  

Are you trying to be "Super ________"?  The greatest gift I got this morning was the realization that I don't have to be SUPER ANYTHING!  Sounds basic, right?  For those of us who continue to compare ourselves to friends who seem to have it all together, to advertising about those who manage everything (including being at their ideal weight) - it is not easy.  It is a daily struggle.  So, I am going back to something I learned in rehab so many years ago - "one day at a time".  I tend to look at the BIG picture and lose sight of the small things that need to be done but to get out of the workaholic - super mode, I need to step back to what kept me sane on any given day.  Just for today, I am going to make a list of things to get done, stop feeling like I have to answer emails within seconds of receiving them, stop stalking Facebook and just do what I have to do.

When life gets crazy and I begin thinking about pulling all nighters to get things done - I will revert to the prayer that gave me strength when I was weak...

God grant me 

the serenity to accept the things I can not change,

the courage to change the things I can,

the wisdom to know the difference.

Your will not mine be done!

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day.

Weight Loss - Recovery or Journey

Sitting in my Thursday morning Weight Watcher's meeting when a friend, Annamarie, made a statement that got me to thinking...."I thought my weight loss was like recovery but it is a forever journey".  WOW!

Having been through recovery TWICE - once for bulimia and then again for drugs, this statement really was an "AHA" moment for me.  If I am honest with myself, I would have to say that I probably thought the same thing.  It has been a long tough journey to loose 105 pounds - with only about 15 more to go to my goal weight but I thought the end was near.  I will celebrate the loss of 120 pounds despite the time it took me but unlike like bulimia and drugs - you can't STAY away from food forever.    

Bulimia was a little bit easier for me to kick but the drugs were a process.. 7 days in detox, 30 days in a residential program and then 2 years of a Narcotics Anonymous meeting EVERY DAY!  Protecting my weight loss will need the same vigilance that I had in my early recovery.  Instead of celebrating the weekly weight loss, I will need to celebrate the "protection" of that weight loss for 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, 6 months, 1 year.  My weight loss journey has been a process too.  Just as I quietly celebrate my years of being clean (23 in October), I will celebrate every year that I am able to maintain goal weight.  I will use the tools that I used on my JOURNEY to goal in my weight loss RECOVERY - tracking, healthy guidelines, exercise (UGH!) and weekly meetings.  Unlike the rooms of NA, I don't know if I will ever be able to walk away from my Weight Watcher family for it is with their help, encouragement and support that I have been successful on this journey.

Are you on a weight loss recovery program so that when you reach your goal you will go back to old habits?  Or, is your weight loss recovery only a part of your journey to be healthy and at goal weight?  Maybe it is semantics but it can effect your whole outlook on the road ahead.  As for me, I am in recovery from my food addiction and unhealthy eating which continues to take me on a journey that includes meeting new people, trying new recipes and helping others to know that they are not alone in their journey to a healthy way of life.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day.

Centra State Hospital Cancer Care Benefit

Happy Saturday morning Everyone -  I am up early and out the door to support an AMAZING cause - the Cancer Care Unit at Centra State Hospital in Freehold.  I will be joining lots of other vendors in the atrium today from 9AM - 5PM - partying Thirty One style.

This the first time that I have stepped into Centra State Hospital since September 11, 2011.  It is because of the care, support and dedication of the staff at the Cancer Care Unit that I am doing this event.  On that day, my aunt, Edythe Weston passed away from a 14-month long battle with cancer.  I know that it may not seem like a long time to battle this crazy disease but what she didn't know was that she had actually been battling it for years.  See the cancer had already spread throughout her body yet she had NO symptoms.  Edythe was diagnosed with kidney cancer in July 2010 when she went to the ER for a bad cold.  She had been sick for about a week and wasn't getting any better so she agreed to go to the ER.  X-rays showed two spots on her lungs and further testing revealed the main cancer was in her kidney.  Then began the treatments, the multiple doctor visits and the battle that would finally take her that day.  

During the months and days leading up to her death, I spent many days there visiting her, sharing memories and just reconnecting.  There were lots of great memories to share - trips to NY for shows and the circus, movies, adventures galore.  When my drug addiction came to light, Edythe was one of my biggest supporters.  She was there to encourage me, help me through the tough days and lend a hand when caring for Belinda.  Every year she faithfully sent me a card to celebrate my recovery and tell me how proud she was of me.  When Belinda was born, she was always there to help out - babysitting, creating memories for Belinda that would last her lifetime.  We drifted apart for many years - when we reconnected, we didn't even understand the reason why - time we couldn't get back.  Years lost of making more memories.  Edythe didn't hold a grudge, she was just grateful that she was able to reconnect with Belinda and I.  She had a giving spirit and as her dad (my PopPop) would, she would do anything for anyone.     

Is there someone in your life that you have lost touch with?  Don't let a minute go by that you don't make amends - especially if you don't even know why you lost touch.    Life is too short and too priceless to take for granted.      

Okay, so I went off track for a minute....The staff in the Cancer Care Unit were always willing to go that extra mile to help us out.  It wasn't just a job but their passion.  On the day that Edythe went to visit the rest of the Weston clan in heaven - even her doctor came and spent several hours (on a Sunday) with us to help us along the way.  The hospital staff made sure that we were not bothered so that we could have our final moments with Edythe in peace.  

People often talk about going to NY or Phillie for treatment - stating that the doctors here are not as good.  As for me, I would go to Centra State Cancer Care Unit before traveling a long distance to seek good medical care because they are GREAT!  Stop by and support a great cause.  I know that I will be thanking the nurses and staff today for all that they did for us during our time spent in their unit.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

A Chapter Ends

 A bittersweet moment on Tuesday... for the last 6 years, I have been holding the mortgage on our old home (a double wide trailer in Atlantic County).  The buyer was a single mom with 4 kids who has struggled with growing up over the last 6 years.  A milestone for both of us, the mortgage has been paid in full.  WOW!  Who would have thought it would have been such an emotional day!

When I look back on the 22 years that I have owned the trailer, I can't help but think of the memories - good and bad.  As my daughter Belinda Heldreth said, it was the only home she ever knew.  My hubby, Rob, shared about how we became a couple and struggled to become a family.  As for me, I can't even begin to share all of the memories that are wrapped up in our old home.  The remodeling that was done by us - Belinda & I along with my aunts Edythe & Elsie.  The Christmases spent decorating the house and setting up Belinda's Department 56 village.  The family dinners.  The tears as we came to terms with my grandmother's Alzheimers and the need to place her in a nursing home.  The years that Elsie lived down the street so "her buddy" Belinda got to visit daily.  The week-end home that Edythe had around the corner so that we could all help take care of Grams as she got sick.  The list goes on, and the tears are again flowing.  I never thought that it would hit me this hard.

That chapter of my life is closed, worn like a good book that will be opened and revisited through pictures and stories for years to come.  It is a new chapter for Julie and her family.  A single mom who I have seen grow into a women who is working towards opening her own business.  Someone who actually thanked me for the tough love and the support along the way.  In her own way, she was a blessing to me.  A reminder of where I was, how far I have come  and the importance of giving back in some small way to others who may be struggling.  Something that I have tried to do since I got into recovery those 22 years ago.  

As a chapter ends, a new one begins.  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

21 days to Make It a Habit

It takes 21 days to form a habit. I heard that when I was in recovery and struggling my first few days to get clean some 22 years ago.  I hear it at Weight Watchers each week as we talk about the NEW 360 program.  I hear it when attending training for my business... you would think by now, it would sink in.

The reprint below is from Julie Anne Jones  and can be used in all aspects of your life:

I have a degree in theatre (I know, shocking, right?) and I remember hearing in a directing class one time that for every minute of a play you see as part of the final production, there were 2 hours of rehearsal (minimum). When I was directing high school plays, the cast of “The Crucible” actually bought me a t-shirt that said “Let’s go back” on the front of it because I said it so much (as in “Stop. Let’s go back and do it again.”).

Repetition is the key to success in your direct sales business as well. At my live trainings I teach lots of specific language for getting results, and I always invite them to script out what they’re going to say and then practice out loud until they feel comfortable with the new language. I can’t tell you how many times people have come up to me after a live event and said, “You know, I used to use your booking commercial and I got great results from it, but for some reason I just don’t use it any more.” I can tell you exactly why they don’t use it any more. Because they didn’t repeat using it enough to make it “the way” they did things, so eventually they stopped doing it. It didn’t become a habit because it wasn’t repeated often or long enough.

It takes 21 days to form a habit. 21 days of repetition (or in the case of your business, 21 parties). What is it you want to implement in your life or business that you haven’t been able to? Choose at least two things, create some specific actions around them, and then make a firm commitment to yourself to do them, without fail, for the next 21 days (or at your next 21 parties, or with your next 21 hosts…you get the idea).

Here are some examples of what you might choose:

• Doing an opportunity commercial at every party you do
• Coaching each host either in person or over the phone
• Making 10 phone calls a week to book parties and follow up on sponsoring leads
• Getting onto Facebook to post/comment at least once each day

Those are a few of my ideas. What are yours (and are you brave enough to declare them below and then actually implement them?)

As for me, my 21 days of repetition is blogging.  What about you?  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day.

Julie Anne Jones is direct sales corporate consultant, coach, and trainer, and the CEO of Julie Anne Jones, Inc. She is known for her authentic and easy-to-use scripting and specializes in specific language and tools for success in direct sales.