The passage "God never gives you more than you can handle" has been a challenge for me in the last 24 hours. As many of you know, the upcoming weekend was a triple celebration weekend in North Carolina with my daughter. Plans were abruptly changed yesterday by a simple doctor's visit.
Three weeks ago, hubby went to the doctor for what we thought was just allergies. The doctor gave him medicine and sent us on our way. Since he wasn't getting any better and in fact, I thought he was getting worse, I convinced him to go back to the doctor. After an EKG because he had prior heart problems, we found out that the stint in his heart is clogged and he heart is beating at about 150 per minute (normal is 75 - 100). To say the least, the doc put him on restriction with NO travel which means no trip to North Carolina. The week's schedule has been totally changed to include chest x-rays this morning and an emergency visit to the cardiologist on Thursday.
The toughest part was calling Belinda last night and telling her that we wouldn't be down. This has been the longest 7 months without a visit - her home or us down there, for both of us. Having only been married just 2 years on May 21st, this was the first time that I had to put my hubby BEFORE my daughter. Being a single mom for about 17 years made me very independent and Belinda ALWAYS came first, no matter what. This is a hard transition for both Belinda and I. The "bad mom" thoughts came first, then I did a time on the "pity pot", and then fear since I have never dealt with heart issues like this.
As I sit here today, missing my daughter, worrying about my hubby and fearing the unknown of the next few weeks with surgery - I am forgetting about the arms of God that I can rest in, turning everything over to him who gives me strength. I know that God will be there to give me comfort in the times of fear, he is there to give me strength when I think I can't go any further and a shoulder to cry on when I just need to let go.
The next few weeks will be a challenge, I may miss a blog or two and for that I am sorry. Blogging has become a great outlet for me - Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!
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