Sunday, March 31, 2013

Blessings

As the sun begins to rise on Easter morning, I think of Easter's past...

As a child, memories include my parents going to sunrise service and leaving me at my grandparents, large Easter baskets filled with candy, new outfits to wear to church, trips to the boardwalk for the Easter parade and always the family dinner.

As the years passed, life seemed to get in the way -no more fancy Easter outfits, no more Easter baskets combined with a feeling of not belonging.  Then I was blessed with my daughter, +Belinda Heldreth

Childhood memories and traditions came back to life from Belinda's first Easter.  Although fancy Easter dresses were not her favorite thing, she always gave in at least for a few hours.  Belinda didn't eat chocolate - I know SHOCKING - so Easter baskets were filled with other treats. Trips to the boardwalk in Ocean City became a regular event ending with dinner with the family.The family was smaller now - Edythe, Elsie, Grams, Mom, Belinda and I but we were blessed with 4 generations at many dinners for several years.

Now, Belinda is grown, living 12 hours away in NC. Edythe, Elsie & Grams have gone home to be our guardian angels  in heaven.  Mom is in South Jersey but again life gets in the way.

Blessings come in a variety of ways as the song from Laura Story says...I am blessed.  I have a loving and supportive family.  I have a devoted husband.  I have a faith that at times is as small as a mustard seed but is enough to get me through the toughest days for I know that even the trials are blessings from God.  Count your blessings - even those that don't seem like them.  I know that I do.
Happy Easter!

    

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Coupons for Our Troops

This morning I was trying to figure out what to blog about when I began my usual sorting of the coupons - DUH!!!  Why not share with everyone this AMAZING program that helps our military personal and their family.  I first found out about Operation Coupons for Our Troops about six months ago through a Facebook friend who is a member of the Cranford VFW Post 335 (Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vfwpost335).

Every week, households across the country get the newspaper which typically have manufacturers coupons.  Some of us cut out what we can use while others simply put the entire batch in the recycling bin never to be seen again.  What if there was a place to send them that would help others and all it would cost you would be the postage?  What a GREAT way for us to "give back" to our military families by recycling coupons that we don't use. Military families can use current and EXPIRED (up to 3 months from the expiration date) manufacturers coupons at the BX/PX.  Such an easy way to help others who risk their lives for us each day.

I never realized how much the "small" things that we take for granted are appreciated by our military families and our troops until about 10 years ago.  My best friend's husband, Bill, was deployed to Bagram in the early days of "Operation Freedom".

A one month deployment turned into a 6 month stint during a time when there was no family support groups - just friends and family who got Stephanie and the four kids (Jen, Sean, Ryan & Shane) through the many days and long nights.  Every penny counted and believe it or not, coupons helped. Here is a quote from her Facebook page on Veteran's Day -


" On Veterans Day, don't count the days or the months. Just please remember every family of every soldier - and if you don't know what to say, just do a random act of kindness like taking out the trash for a soldier's wife while her husband is at home. Small things mean a lot. I know.  November 11, 2012 at 8:37pm 

Have a wonderful day and if you should see someone from the military today - Thank them!  They don't just sacrifice their lives on Veteran's Day but EVERY DAY!

Friday, March 29, 2013

Bullying - The Visible vs the Invisible

I just wanted to share how "bullying" can be hidden by our children. It doesn't mean you are a bad parent, it just means that you may have taught your child coping skills to help deal with the bullying from school mates. Bear with me as I share some background information..

As a single mom for 14 years who worked full-time trying to provide all of the things that I had when I was growing up and more for my daughter, Belinda. Isn't that every parent's wish - to give their child more?  I moved to a double wide trailer in a trailer park in an area that had a good school district, lots of children my daughter's age and it was affordable.  My daughter was involved in a lot of activities outside of school - first competitive gymnastics, then field hockey then all-star cheering. This was my way of making sure Belinda stayed away from the "wrong crowd". She went to public school until she was a Sophomore in HS when she asked to be changed to a private Christian school where our Pastor's family taught and went to school. Her reasons made sense so we juggled the budget and Belinda graduated from Pilgrim Academy - smiling, happy, ready for college & still living in the trailer park. Belinda traveled 13 hours to go college - Western Carolina University. I was heart-broken that she was so far away but after the first semester, she excelled - graduated with honors in the Honors College program.

Here is when the "clueless mom" found out what had really been happening...My daughter is a social worker that loves working with troubled kids. As she was preparing her applications for grad school for her Masters in Macro-Social Work, she had to write some essays as to why she felt she would belonged in this field. Since I am a grant-writer, she asked me to review her essays (like she usually did) to check grammar, etc. This is when I found out the "horror" of my daughter's school years....

Belinda recounts many tales of verbal abuse from school mates because we lived in a trailer park that as the years passed became like the "projects" of the Township. She only invited her closest friends back to our house for sleep overs, parties, etc. I never really thought about it since I was working, juggling her activities and making sure that her homework was done. The truth was very few parents wanted their children to come over because of where we lived - not necessarily our home but the neighborhood. Belinda talks about how people used to call her "trailer trash". The outside sports activities along with my example of what a strong woman could do is what she attributes to her success. Some called her a "snob" because she was involved in outside sports.  Then when she became active in church, more verbal abuse came.  Some of her friends from the trailer park fell into the lives that people expected - sexually active, lots of unsupervised parties, drugs, alcohol and more. I was blessed, Belinda didn't do any of that. 

Many believe that if I was clueless about the verbal abuse, I would be clueless about everything else...My daughter and I had and still have an amazing relationship. When I asked her why she never told me, her response "I didn't want to hurt you because I knew you were doing the best you could. The material things didn't matter because you were always there for me". My daughter has amazing attributes - self confidence, speaks her mind (sometimes without tack) and is forever looking to help the underserved youth in her community.  She tells me on a regular basis how she hopes to accomplish all that I have both professionally and personally. 

I wanted to share this to let people know that bullying isn't always visible, it can happen to any child. As I travel back to our old hometown, I look around and ask my husband - was I that "clueless" about what life was like. His response is always the same - "You did what you had to do to make sure that Belinda had everything she needed even if it wasn't always what she wanted. As a result, she is a bright, intelligent & confident woman who wants to take on the world to make it a better place".

Since signing up to be a part of the Family Wellness & Beauty Day for Kickin' It Kids AntiBullying, God has pressed on my heart to share this story. This is an amazing cause and I truly believe that children who are visibly and "in'visibly" bullied can benefit from this type of program.