Standing Out in Business

I was told, along with many others, to succeed in business you need to set yourself apart for your competition.  This was easy for me to do when I was in the non-profit world, my work including grant writing success, program development and networking helped me to rise to the top - even when I least expected it.  

As I entered the world of Direct Sales, setting myself apart from other consultants from the same company was going to be a little tougher.  We are all given the same tools to use - scripts for parties, amazing products, catalogs, scripts for recruiting and the list goes on.  My biggest problem was (and sometimes still is) learning which of these tools best fit ME! Which party presentation was easy for me, especially since I have always disliked public speaking?  Which follow-up was I going to use (okay, so I am still working on this and it is an ongoing struggle)?

According to Direct Selling Education Foundation, here are some things that can help you to stand out in your business: 

1. Deliver great value – Offer excellence for a great price.
2. Offer more choices in your products/services than your competitors.
3. Make the sales process more convenient, easier and quicker than your competitors.
4. Make it easy to find and contact you – use memorable business cards, post information on how to reach you through social media networks, post your cell number and promote testimonials.
5. Share your sense of passion and excellence for what you do – make sure you come across passionate, caring and willing to do what it takes to earn your customers’ loyalty.
6. Follow up immediately after the sale and continue on-going follow up.
7. Anticipate your customers’ needs and help them with solutions.
8. Ask for feedback and act upon those suggestions.
9. Continue to improve.
10. Be a connector and networker – help your customers find solutions to their needs, even before they know what they are, and engage in becoming friends with everyone you meet.
11. Stay current in your area of expertise – keep up with professional training, industry trends and share innovations with your customers.
12. Be positive and approach everything with a can-do attitude.
13. Strive for excellence every day.
14. Be more personable, friendly and approachable.
15. Become solution oriented.
16. Be creative and innovative while also following through.

One of the greatest compliments that I got was from another direct selling consultant.  Lissa had attended one of my parties and never mentioned that she was in direct sales.  I ran into her several times after the party since she coordinated events for one of the local schools.  Out of the blue, Lissa called me one morning and asked if she could take me to breakfast - she wanted to pick my brain.  As we sat down and began talking, she pulled out ALL of my communication & written follow-up that I did after the party.  She proceeded to tell me how impressed she was - WOW!  I was shocked!  But since that morning meeting, I have heard from my hostesses and customers that "it was easy having a party with you - your follow-up was great", "our orders looked so nice when they came in".  So, I have found one of my ways "to stand out" without even trying.  I simply applied what I learned in the business world - communication is the key to success - to my direct selling business and TADA! It works!  Is it hurling me to the top of the ladder? No!  Does it have people banging down my door?  No!  What it has done is to help me build a reputation with my customers and their friends which will ultimately help me to gain the business that I want - BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS is key to BUILDING YOUR BUSINESS.

Check out "Business Owner's Road Map to Success" by the Direct Sales Education Foundation for more great tips.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Weight Loss - Recovery or Journey

Sitting in my Thursday morning Weight Watcher's meeting when a friend, Annamarie, made a statement that got me to thinking...."I thought my weight loss was like recovery but it is a forever journey".  WOW!

Having been through recovery TWICE - once for bulimia and then again for drugs, this statement really was an "AHA" moment for me.  If I am honest with myself, I would have to say that I probably thought the same thing.  It has been a long tough journey to loose 105 pounds - with only about 15 more to go to my goal weight but I thought the end was near.  I will celebrate the loss of 120 pounds despite the time it took me but unlike like bulimia and drugs - you can't STAY away from food forever.    

Bulimia was a little bit easier for me to kick but the drugs were a process.. 7 days in detox, 30 days in a residential program and then 2 years of a Narcotics Anonymous meeting EVERY DAY!  Protecting my weight loss will need the same vigilance that I had in my early recovery.  Instead of celebrating the weekly weight loss, I will need to celebrate the "protection" of that weight loss for 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, 6 months, 1 year.  My weight loss journey has been a process too.  Just as I quietly celebrate my years of being clean (23 in October), I will celebrate every year that I am able to maintain goal weight.  I will use the tools that I used on my JOURNEY to goal in my weight loss RECOVERY - tracking, healthy guidelines, exercise (UGH!) and weekly meetings.  Unlike the rooms of NA, I don't know if I will ever be able to walk away from my Weight Watcher family for it is with their help, encouragement and support that I have been successful on this journey.

Are you on a weight loss recovery program so that when you reach your goal you will go back to old habits?  Or, is your weight loss recovery only a part of your journey to be healthy and at goal weight?  Maybe it is semantics but it can effect your whole outlook on the road ahead.  As for me, I am in recovery from my food addiction and unhealthy eating which continues to take me on a journey that includes meeting new people, trying new recipes and helping others to know that they are not alone in their journey to a healthy way of life.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day.

One Month....I DID IT!

Morning - I am doing the HAPPY DANCE!!!!!

I can't believe that I did it - no I haven't reached goal at Weight Watchers but getting close.  

I have done 30 days of blogging and am ready to keep going.  Thank you Vanessa Coppes for the encouragement.  It is now part of my morning ritual - coffee, devotions and a blog posting.  I am learning to make notes for future blog posts to share with everyone.  At some point, I am sure I will share more of my personal life's journey but for right now, the spark has not been there nor do I want to be know as a blogger who just shares "their drama".  I want to inspire and encourage other women to reach for their dreams no matter how big or out of reach they may be.  

I have learned that even though I may not think something is important - it may change someone else's thought process and help them.  Thank you to those who have been following me and sharing my stories.  Like with any business - word of mouth is the best way to promote your business.  

Here are a list of tips from Direct Selling Education Foundation on promoting through word of mouth:

1. Join a local event, get your business in the local media and get people talking positively about your business.
2. Use social networks to connect with your customers, engage in conversations, use it to provide better customer service, and build relationships and buzz.
3. Make each interaction with your business a memorable one, and you’ll make your business memorable. Follow up with a thank you call or card. Offer a free branded gift and other memorable services.
4. Offer your customers an opportunity to comment, or take a poll and act upon their suggestions to create buzz.
5. Ask loyal customers and local influencers to refer your business to others and give them a reward for it.
6. Treat your customers like VIPs and share their testimonials wherever you can.
7. Offer customized/personalized customer service to create a buzz.
8. Ask for reviews from loyal customers and local influencers.
9. Once in a while, surprise your customers with extras and tell them to share it with others. Give them a discount that they can share with another to help bring new customers.
10. Start a campaign to help others in your community and create an online forum to encourage conversation and positive word of mouth.
11. Become the town “know it all.” Post and host on your site interesting facts about your town and residents to encourage conversations.
12. Offer contests, start trends and other promotions to generate buzz and build brand recognition.

If you haven't blogged - try it!  If you are, share your link below and I will be happy to pass it on to others.  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day.

Centra State Hospital Cancer Care Benefit

Happy Saturday morning Everyone -  I am up early and out the door to support an AMAZING cause - the Cancer Care Unit at Centra State Hospital in Freehold.  I will be joining lots of other vendors in the atrium today from 9AM - 5PM - partying Thirty One style.

This the first time that I have stepped into Centra State Hospital since September 11, 2011.  It is because of the care, support and dedication of the staff at the Cancer Care Unit that I am doing this event.  On that day, my aunt, Edythe Weston passed away from a 14-month long battle with cancer.  I know that it may not seem like a long time to battle this crazy disease but what she didn't know was that she had actually been battling it for years.  See the cancer had already spread throughout her body yet she had NO symptoms.  Edythe was diagnosed with kidney cancer in July 2010 when she went to the ER for a bad cold.  She had been sick for about a week and wasn't getting any better so she agreed to go to the ER.  X-rays showed two spots on her lungs and further testing revealed the main cancer was in her kidney.  Then began the treatments, the multiple doctor visits and the battle that would finally take her that day.  

During the months and days leading up to her death, I spent many days there visiting her, sharing memories and just reconnecting.  There were lots of great memories to share - trips to NY for shows and the circus, movies, adventures galore.  When my drug addiction came to light, Edythe was one of my biggest supporters.  She was there to encourage me, help me through the tough days and lend a hand when caring for Belinda.  Every year she faithfully sent me a card to celebrate my recovery and tell me how proud she was of me.  When Belinda was born, she was always there to help out - babysitting, creating memories for Belinda that would last her lifetime.  We drifted apart for many years - when we reconnected, we didn't even understand the reason why - time we couldn't get back.  Years lost of making more memories.  Edythe didn't hold a grudge, she was just grateful that she was able to reconnect with Belinda and I.  She had a giving spirit and as her dad (my PopPop) would, she would do anything for anyone.     

Is there someone in your life that you have lost touch with?  Don't let a minute go by that you don't make amends - especially if you don't even know why you lost touch.    Life is too short and too priceless to take for granted.      

Okay, so I went off track for a minute....The staff in the Cancer Care Unit were always willing to go that extra mile to help us out.  It wasn't just a job but their passion.  On the day that Edythe went to visit the rest of the Weston clan in heaven - even her doctor came and spent several hours (on a Sunday) with us to help us along the way.  The hospital staff made sure that we were not bothered so that we could have our final moments with Edythe in peace.  

People often talk about going to NY or Phillie for treatment - stating that the doctors here are not as good.  As for me, I would go to Centra State Cancer Care Unit before traveling a long distance to seek good medical care because they are GREAT!  Stop by and support a great cause.  I know that I will be thanking the nurses and staff today for all that they did for us during our time spent in their unit.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Spring Cleaning the Clothes Closet

Over the last few days, I have begun to do some spring cleaning - my first stop is always my closet.  A chance to put away the heavy sweater,pull out my capri pants, flip flops and short sleeve shirts.  Okay, so the weather may still be a little cool but to me - spring is here!  

While doing this, I came upon some things that were bought and still had the price tag on them.  You know - the perfect sale, something that seemed right at the time or the never ending impulse buying.  So, I have a Closet Filled with  (some) Regrets.  I saw an article the other day that made me stop and think about what is in my closet, the opener said - 

Only about 20% of clothes in the average person’s closet are worn on a regular basis, says Ginny Snook Scott, chief design officer of California Closets, the designer of customized closets and storage spaces. That’s especially the case for women since “men tend to wear more of their wardrobe, as they stereotypically have less,” she says. “They tend to have less than 10 pairs of shoes that they rotate fairly well, whereas women have four to five times that amount, on average.”

WOW!  This made me take a look at my closet again.  What were the things that I wore on a regular basis?  I am a jeans girl all the way in the winter so why do I insist on buying skirts that never seem to make it out of the closet?  Since I am still on my weight loss journey, I have not been buying as many clothes - holding out for milestones in my journey to treat myself to something new. 

The St. Paul's Church Rummage Sale is coming up in May so as I clean out my closet, I add to the pile of things to be donated.  My impulse shopping may be just the right thing for someone else.  What will you do with the "regrets" in your closet?  Do you have a favorite charity to donate to or is there something else that you do with them?

I saw a tip somewhere on a blog or Facebook, I can't remember which that someone shared which I think is going to be my new rule of thumb:

My grandmother always says you should wear something once for every dollar you spend on it. I thought it was silly the first time I heard it, but now I find myself holding up items and thinking "Will I really wear this 25 times?" It definitely helps my impulse buys! G-E-N-I-U-S! 

What tactics do you use to avoid purchase regrets?  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Jiggle Thighs - A new way to look at them...

I read an email/ blog posting on Women Living Well about learning to accept things "in the Opposite World" which really made to stop to think that I need to look at my "jiggle thighs" in a different way..

For as long as I can remember, I have had "bumps" on the top of my thighs.  Yes, they have gotten smaller with the loss of 105 pounds but they are still there!  I walk, maybe not as much as I could but you would figure loosing 105 pounds would have helped to get rid of them, right?  I wear clothes that conceal them but I still know they are there.  Of course you can really notice them because my waist continues to shrink and nothing is in proportion.  So maybe this isn't your problem area, maybe it is the "jiggle arms" or the muffin top or the roll our bra creates - no matter what we all seem to judge ourselves when we look in the mirror..

How about this thought....My jiggle thighs are evidence of God’s goodness in my life! Sounds crazy, right? Mind you I never notice this or any other problem area on other people, just on myself.  Most people don't mention it - okay maybe an occasional child who is curious but why wouldn't they be - I'm curious as to know why God has blessed me with these wonderful thighs.  

In the article I read, Jen Wilken was noted on several occasions.  One of the key statements she wrote was "The expectation of physical perfection hits modern females early and often. In middle school, girls cut themselves to deal with the pressures of conforming to the ideal. In middle age, women do, too—but allow the surgeon to hold the knife."  WOW! She then goes on to say "We carve the record of our self-loathing into the very flesh of our bodies—a self-marring, a literal carving of an idol. Increasingly, physical perfection is the legacy of womanhood in our culture, handed down with meticulous care from mother to daughter, with more faithful instruction in word and deed than we can trouble to devote to cultivating kindness, peacemaking, and acceptance that characterize unfading, inner beauty."

I say all this to say - let's not torture ourselves with lies about the need to have a perfect body or to be an ideal weight.  I am not saying - don't be healthy, what I am saying is strive for a goal that is reachable for you.  I am learning to accept me for me - jiggle thighs and all - knowing that I am beautifully made by God.  I am not less than because it has taken me a "LONG" time to reach my goal weight.  I am not less than because my body is not a perfect size 10.  

Today, I am living in the hope, security and the arms of Higher Power who loves me unconditionally.  Give yourself a break today and know that as long as you are trying your best - that is all that God is asking of you.

For tips on healthy weight loss check out - Weight Watchers.

Have ThirtyOne-derful day.

Earth Day Memories

Monday, April 22nd has become know as Earth Day....we all strive to be eco-friendly by recycling paper, plastic and glass.  We take "green" bags to the grocery store and look to buy organic vegetables and meat.

For me, I have memories of a simpler time.  I know, I sound like I am 100 - no just a soon to be 56!  I remember the first Earth Day in 1970.  I was attending Dow Avenue School and everyone wanted to do something.  We wore earth shoes and cleaned up the parks and woods.  I remember walking to school (about 5 miles one way) with a group of friends to bring attention to how the buses were polluting our air.  Walking to school was one thing but then we remembered that we needed to walk home AFTER school.  Not part of the original plan.  I remember cleaning up a local roadside with my aunts - Edythe and Elsie - stepping on a nail, a rusty nail to be more exact.  So my clean up now involved a trip to the ER AND a tetanus shot.  Earth shoes were all the rage.  They may not have been pretty but they were supposed to be good for you and help the environment.

The years have passed and Earth Day has taken on a new and bigger meaning.  Holes in the ozone layer. Recycling has become mandatory by local townships. Everyone is pitching in and helping to clean up our beaches, parks, and roadsides.  As for me, I am renewing my commitment to do the things that we started to do so many years ago to help in preserving the world for my grandchildren since my daughter is grown and doing her own part on to help save the world.

What will you do to be a part of the "green living" world?  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day.

Becoming a Leader

Several months ago, I promoted to Director with Thirty One - a goal that I had been working towards for several months.  In fact, that was my main goal to achieve before National Conference this year in Atlanta.  Goal achieved!  

As I read an article by Karen Phelps on Leadership Skills, I realized that I had achieved my goal but didn't know what to do next.  Although I have been a Program Coordinator and a Chief Operating Officer in the non-profit world, in the direct selling world of leaders - I was clueless.  It seems that after doing some research, I wasn't alone according to Karen Phelps - "many direct selling leaders arrive accidentally at a new position and aren't sure how they got there or what to do next".  On paper my goal was to be a Director but I don't know if I really knew what that meant (besides a more money in my commission check).  The reality that there was more to being a Director hit when one of my downline recruited TWO new team members.  Her question "Who will send them their new consultant binders - you or Hope Shortt (my Director)?" SMACK!  It would now be me and I was definitely not ready for that task.  Quickly, I began to cut and paste what I was sent to send to MY new team members.

So, here are a few tips that I gained from the article and will begin to put into action for myself:

• Change yourself first!  If you need to change things in your life, start there.  Don't worry about what everyone else is doing just what positive things you can change.  This is a tough one for me because I almost always catch myself comparing my business to others.
• Realize that human beings are emotional and that what we say and do is based on our emotions.  Basically, we need to take time to find out about our team.  I have been blessed to be able to connect (even if only by Facebook or email) with most of my team so I know what their goals (large or small) are as it relates to their business.
• Good leaders are empathetic and sensitive to others.  Basically, be a good listener so that you can hear what they are saying between the lines.  The more that you listen, the more they will trust you.
• One of the greatest ways to influence others is by asking questions and really listening to the answers.  Don't state a comment if you can ask a question.  This goes along with the 10-second rule that I learned from Dana Wilde from the MindAware.  If you are talking for more than 10-seconds after you ask a question - you aren't listening.  I try to practice this on a regular basis.
• Set a good example!  People love to follow a leader that knows where she is going.  Good leaders are self-disciplined, have clear ideals and continually aspire to reach their goals.  Sometimes I think I just fall into this.  I do have goals, a vision board and on most days clear ideals.  As far as self-disciplined, this is something that I have to work on.
• Keep Learning!  When you arrive at a leadership level it is the perfect time to learn new skills so you and your team can keep ahead in the game!  I am always looking for new tips and skills that I can put into practice as well as share with my team.

So, even though my goal was to promote to Director, I am not sure the reality of it has hit or will hit until I have the privilege of walking across stage at National Conference in July to meet THE Cindy Monroe and have my picture taken.  On any given day, I have to have FAITH that God is with me, walking beside me to help me on this journey and is guiding me to fulfill my mission which is "to inspire and nurture women; cultivating their inner beauty that God delights in.  To help them identify their dreams while providing personal, preferred service to my Thirty One customers, hostesses and team."   

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Energizing Your Business & Your Weight Loss Program At the Same time

Happy Monday!  I hope everyone had a great weekend.  I had the chance to read an article on the DSW website entitled "Seven Ways to Energize Your Business" and it got me to thinking - I know a scary thought for a Monday morning, right?

Here are the ways that they suggested that I have tweaked to help me in my weight loss program as well:

• Establish priorities. As in business, we try to tackle everything at one time. List your priorities and focus on just one or two items at a time. The same thing in your weight loss journey - one step at a time. Eating more fruits & veggies. Exercise. Cutting out carbs.  Prioritizing a list takes the stress off and allows you to focus on one thing at a time with the comfort of knowing where you will go from here.
• Be as efficient as possible.  In my business, this is a little bit easier to do when I avoid Facebook, Piniterest and anything else that distracts me from my goals for the day.  I even put a picture of a "security camera" in front of me.  This is my gentle reminder that I have to practice what I preach when it comes to office hours.  In my weight loss journey, the same can be said - excuses or reasons why we don't have time to take a 10 minute walk, eat the right foods, go to a meeting or as Weight Watchers would say "get active".  Don't be a computer zombie or a couch potato, move even if it is up and down the stairs or around the block. Get up during commercials and move. 
• Combine your work with different areas of your life.  For me as a Thirty One Director, it is an easy to combine areas of my life.  I use and carry our bags every where I go.  When I travel to National Conference or for a training, hubby goes along so that when the work is done, we get to spend some time together.  The best is when I get to combine work with a trip to North Carolina to see my daughter, Belinda.  As far as my weight loss journey - it is not just a "diet"!  Yes, my goal is to reach my ideal weight but more than that I am learning how to care for myself by eating right and moving more.  Seems basic enough, right?
• Actively manage your time and stop wasting it.  Time management may be easy for some but for me it is a struggle so calendar blocking has become my friend.  My monthly calendar is color coded so that I can manage time with family, work, my Thirty One business and time for me (sometimes this gets cancelled).  Manage your time when it comes to activity or exercise.  Add it to your calendar so that it becomes a part of your every day life and you aren't wasting the small amounts of time doing nothing when you could be active.  I know, I need to practice this one myself!
• Commit to learning new things.  My professional development is important to me because it is an investment in my business that helps not only me personally but my team.  You can learn new things in a variety of ways like reading a blog, a video, a conference call, a networking meeting or a formal conference/ training.  The same is true about my weight loss journey.  I continue to learn new tips and ideas not only from the Weight Watcher meetings, the friends that I have met there but also by talking to others in the health field or other DS wellness companies about their products
• Don't sweat the small stuff.  There are going to be bumps in the road but you can learn from them and then let them go.  Sometimes this is easier to do in business then when we are losing weight.  If you lost weight but are suffering from a small set-back like some weight gain or a plateau - look back on what worked and what didn't.  Protect your loss.  Just because you gained a little doesn't negate all the positive work that you have done.
• Laugh more. I have learned to laugh at myself.  I LOVE what I do - who wouldn't love to party every time they go to work, right?  The same has been true in my weight loss journey .  I have found that finding humor in everyday life makes me a happier person.

This is a lot to take in on a Monday morning but the lesson is simple - we tend to look at our lives as separate compartments - business, family, work, spiritual, etc. - that very seldom merge together.  When they do, it is often in a negative way - why not take the positive lessons that we have learned each part of our life and apply them to every part of our life as we take this journey through life.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Some Favorite Products

As the days get closer to Mother's Day, our 2nd Anniversary and my birthday - all of which are in May; the big question is always what do you want for _________?  So, I thought I would share some my top favorite products and their websites..

1.  My NEW favorite clothing line is Quenchwear!  I mentioned it yesterday but I LOVE it.  I ordered a few pieces but I am thinking that I will need a few more to mix and match.  For those that know me - I love comfortable and am NOT a dress up kind of person.  This line is perfect

2.  I have become a new fan of Mary Kay makeup.  Annamarie has been GREAT helping me to find a color that I like.  I have switched from Bare Minerals to the Mary Kay minerals - AWESOME.  Try it for yourself.

3.  Over the winter my hands were rough and dry.  Hubby even complained which is something that he seldom does.  So with the help of Maggie at Beauticontrol, I now have soft hands.  I know that they have more skin care products but this is my first daily routine for my hands.  

4.  Names On the Jersey Shore has a few things that I have been looking at and thinking about. Check Susan out on Etsy.  I would load pictures but I have yet to figure out how to do this when I am blogging.  Susan's writings on the beach are done right here at the Jersey Shore.  I LOVE her sea glass necklaces and earrings too.  The fact that she has two of my favorites - an angel and my name with sea glass is also a plus.  

5.  Hungry Girl recipe books.....you can never have enough.  I use a lot of these recipes and tips as I continue on this Weight Watcher journey.  Simple and good - hubby even likes some of them so that is a true testimony about the tasty recipes.

6.  Toms - my daughter has been wearing these for awhile but I have just started checking them out.  I love the wedges but I am not sure how this "old lady" would do in 3 inch wedges.  I mean I wouldn't want to topple over while walking. I do like their classic styles too - they even have a PINK pair.  They might have to be on my list to pack when I head to National Conference in HOTLANTA.

I have more products/ companies that I love along with some wonderful friends who are in business that I will share as time goes on.  Have a ThityOne-derful day.

 

Saturday Morning......

This has been an AMAZING week filled with tears of joy and tears of sadness.  A chapter in my life (and my daughter, Belinda's) closed this week with the final payment being received on the mortgage that I held on our old home but many new chapters opened......  

The first as a proud Momma!  Belinda has been accepted into the University of New England's Masters Program for Social Work on the accelerated program.  She starts online in May and will be done in 18 months with her Masters in Macro Social Work.  All this while working a full-time and an on-call job with troubled kids.  

Next, Jennifer Jones, my only long distance recruit, added two more women to our Thirty One team - Rays of Hope.  I met Jennifer on my way to National Conference last year and was so excited when she signed up.  Our team is growing deep which is great news! 

I won a door prize at the Family Wellness and Beauty Day so yesterday I got to pick up my prize (and place an order) for Quenchwear clothing.  This is a line of clothing that is all about fit, style, versatility and sun protection.  I can't wait to show off my new interchangeable outfits.  These will definitely be making the trip to HOTLANTA in July for National Conference.

The greatest blessing came on Thursday at my Weight Watcher's meeting.  No, I didn't loose but actually gained .4 (a VERY minor setback).  I had TWO AHA moments though - 1) tracking is key to my success & my weight loss journey and 2) people actually helped by my blog.  Thank you AnnaMarie for sharing how my one blog post helped you.  Your kind words made my day and helped to reinforce what Vanessa Coppes (my blog mentor) told me.     

Time for family as hubby has off tomorrow.  Enjoy your weekend and have a ThirtyOne-derful day.

More Thoughts on Bullying

Last night while I was at my part-time job, I overhead a co-worker telling the story of an incident that happened in her daughter's pre-school.  Yes, I said PRE-SCHOOL.

It seems that her daughter has a favorite pair of boots, they are pink and she wears them a lot as well as a favorite blanket that she likes to take when she naps.  One of the boys at the school teases her, calls her names and torment her by trying to take her blanket.  When she cried, she was told to just "ignore him".  I listened to the mom talk about how she didn't want to cause a problem at the school or with the other child's parents since it was just pre-school.  She did talk to her daughter about how children can be mean at which point a child's favorite question "why?".  On the surface or in the past, as parents and/ or teachers, we would just brush it aside and say "kids will be kids" but this is bullying.  

I think back to a time in my life when my family moved from the first home I grew up in to a "new" bigger home.  I think I was in 5th grade, and I definitely did not want to move. I remember going on vacation with my grandparents and returning to a new home with new bedroom furniture - all kind of exciting. Then I had to go to school!  UGH!  A new neighborhood but the same school district.  Different bus, new kids a lot of whom were the "popular" kids or the "nerds".  I never really felt like I fit in.  The popular kids were mean - visions of the movie "Mean Girls" comes to mind.  I made friends with one girl in the neighborhood but all of my other friends were in other parts of the township.  As I think back, I was bullied - made to feel like I didn't belong, not invited to many of the parties in the neighborhood and just a general lack of confidence developed in me that has haunted me for years especially when needing to step out of my comfort zone.  A desire "to be liked" set in and created years of turmoil.  Did I think I was being bullied?  NO!  Did I tell anyone?  NO!  On the surface I was a normal child but on the inside there were many ghosts.

I share all of this because "bullying" comes in many forms and effects everyone differently.  For some, it creates low self-esteem or the need to be accepted.  For others, they withdraw and become depressed.  While for others, they hide their feelings and learn to cope with the bully and the situation.  Maybe if we started talking to our children when they are younger (pre-school age) about being nice to one another - you know "treat others like you would want to be treated"  we could effect a positive change in the lives of our children.

Check out We're Kickin' It - AntiBullying Program.  Kickin' It® is created to empower & inspire childrens’ creativity, imagination, self expression, passion, dreams and aspirations, positively impacting them to overcome negative obstacles that would inhibit them from developing into strong, independent, healthy functioning members of society.   

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

A Chapter Ends

 A bittersweet moment on Tuesday... for the last 6 years, I have been holding the mortgage on our old home (a double wide trailer in Atlantic County).  The buyer was a single mom with 4 kids who has struggled with growing up over the last 6 years.  A milestone for both of us, the mortgage has been paid in full.  WOW!  Who would have thought it would have been such an emotional day!

When I look back on the 22 years that I have owned the trailer, I can't help but think of the memories - good and bad.  As my daughter Belinda Heldreth said, it was the only home she ever knew.  My hubby, Rob, shared about how we became a couple and struggled to become a family.  As for me, I can't even begin to share all of the memories that are wrapped up in our old home.  The remodeling that was done by us - Belinda & I along with my aunts Edythe & Elsie.  The Christmases spent decorating the house and setting up Belinda's Department 56 village.  The family dinners.  The tears as we came to terms with my grandmother's Alzheimers and the need to place her in a nursing home.  The years that Elsie lived down the street so "her buddy" Belinda got to visit daily.  The week-end home that Edythe had around the corner so that we could all help take care of Grams as she got sick.  The list goes on, and the tears are again flowing.  I never thought that it would hit me this hard.

That chapter of my life is closed, worn like a good book that will be opened and revisited through pictures and stories for years to come.  It is a new chapter for Julie and her family.  A single mom who I have seen grow into a women who is working towards opening her own business.  Someone who actually thanked me for the tough love and the support along the way.  In her own way, she was a blessing to me.  A reminder of where I was, how far I have come  and the importance of giving back in some small way to others who may be struggling.  Something that I have tried to do since I got into recovery those 22 years ago.  

As a chapter ends, a new one begins.  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Random thoughts

Good Morning Everyone - today is one of those mornings when I don't have much to say.  AMAZING, right?  LOL.  Just some random thoughts to clear my head.  

Words can't describe the emotions that I had on Monday when I heard about the bombing in Boston at the marathon.  My thoughts quickly reverted to that dreadful morning on 9-11.  The day of the dreadful shooting on the Virginia Tech campus.  The days were similar.  No one was expecting anything this horrific to happen. Lives lost and lives changed forever.  These days brought me to tears of gratitude for the safety of my family and friends.  911 and the VT shootings could have had different impacts on my life as family and close friends were "too close for comfort" to the events of those days.

During times like these, I reflect on all of the blessings in my life.  Whether those blessings have come through trials or whether we see them as precious gifts - we have all been given them.  My blessings include my family - although we don't see each other as often as I would like (life always gets in the way) they are always in my thoughts and prayers.  The people that God has placed in my life for sometimes just a moment, for a season or for a lifetime are a precious gift. The trials of my life include my battle with drugs, my bulimia, cancer that struck and took my grandfather, my Aunts - Edythe & Elsie and Alzheimer's that took my grandmother all helped to shape me into the person that I am today.  The greatest blessing of all is my daughter, Belinda Heldreth and of course my hubby, Rob.  

What are your blessings?  Think about all of the things - good or bad - in your life that have helped to shape and guide you to where you are.  Hug the ones that you love and tell them that you love them.  Reach out to old friends when you are thinking about them instead of waiting for the "perfect moment".  Life is short.  God has a plan for all of us and although we don't know what it is, we need to savor every moment.  Take the good with the bad.  Turn it over to God and he will get you through it.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings... Have a ThirtyOne-derful day.

Budgets and Budgeting

For many people the word "budget" brings mixed emotions and I am one of them.  As a grant writer & program person for over 25 years, budgets were my friend.  They kept me on track so that my spending did not get out of hand and they allowed our funders to know exactly where their money went as far as costs.

Home was an entirely different story.  Why is it that something that made perfect sense at work NEVER worked at home? Am I the only one?  LOL.  Creating a list of expenses and knowing what to pay was the easy part, living within the budget was the tough part.  I made lots of excuses - single mom, didn't make enough and the list goes on.  In reality, I never learned (until recently) how to live within my means.  Credit cards were my friend and I used them a lot while I was a single mom trying to provide for my daughter.  Fast forward - daughter grown, credit card debt still there (not as bad as before, paid a lot off and closed the account) and I am just NOW learning to live within my budget.  See you can teach an old "dog", new tricks.  I mean at age 55, you would think I would know this.  I took Dave Ramsey's financial university class and it was AWESOME when I was working full-time getting a regular paycheck.  I am now adjusting to receiving a commission check from my business instead of the bi-weekly checks.  Not an easy adjustment but this "old dog" is re-learning a new trick!  Mind you, I have a hubby who is debt-free and LIVES by budgets.  We have only been married for 2 years (on May 21st) so I have decided to be solely responsible for any past debt.

As for my business, I am learning how to take the skills that I learned in program budgeting and apply it to my direct sales business.  Here are some tips from Direct Sales Education Foundation on creating a budget for your small business:

• Know your averages: It’s important that you know what the average income you can earn is for each activity in your business, as well as average expenses. 
• Know your fixed and variable costs: Are there things you pay for each month, quarter, or year? 
• Write it all down: It is essential that you keep track of the money coming in and going out from your business. 
• Be conservative in your estimates: It’s important to have some extra income set aside for unanticipated expenses, so you have some flexibility in your business. 

Check out the complete article at: Direct Sales Education Foundation. Don't be afraid to ask for help. There are lots of tools out there that can help you to overcome this hurdle which is one of the top causes for businesses failing.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day.

Is it a Successful Vendor Event?

The age old question of what makes for a successful vendor event differs depending on what hat I am wearing - Thirty One consultant or crafter.

I have been attending craft/vendor shows for over 20 years.  In the beginning, I did doll clothes along with my sister, Kathy Gourley.  Both of us spent hours sewing, I did the leg work for the shows and she did all of the crocheting.  We sold American Girl Doll clothes and accessories.  Success at a craft/vendor show then was to make not only the cost of our space but to have 3 times the amount of the cost in sales.  As a crafter, you never really get paid for the true cost of an item - supplies plus time - but the 3 times rule seems to have worked for man including us.  We gave up doll clothes about 6 years ago when the demand started to die and shows were not as successful as they once were.  In the last 3 years, I have begun making small inspirational angels which are GREAT sellers during the fall.  I believe that they are wonderful year round but the demand has really only been in the fall/ winter so I have started only doing shows during the fall/ winter as a crafter.  Knowing your market and your target audience for your product is the key when selling crafts.

As a direct sales consultant, my view of a vendor show takes on a whole new meaning.  I have learned over time that it is not all about the sales the day of the show.  Of course, I want to make back the money that I spent for "renting" the space but if I don't, does it mean that it wasn't a success?  As a DS consultant, my business is based on building relationships - with customers, with potential hostesses, potential corporate clients and anyone else who may be interested in our products.  My goal is to help them find a solution for their particular dilemma - organizing a space like their home, car or purse or getting gifts for family, friends or customers. Connecting with people takes time so the less than 5 minutes they may look at your product and talk to you may not be the time for them to make a decision about something. I share a catalog, my information and some suggestions  in the hopes that if not today, one day when they are looking for that special item - they will call me.  If they see me at enough local events, then we start to build a relationship of trust which can lead to more business.  Two summers ago, I did a VERY large outdoor event and had sales the day of the event and gathered lots of contact information.  Over the next several months, orders trickled in as a result of those contacts.  One evening I received a call from a woman who was trying to place an order online.  In the midst of talking, I found out that she had been at that event and over the last YEAR had received my monthly newsletter.  That night she placed her own PARTY order for over $300.  Since, she has referred customers to me because I was able to turn her "order" into a "party" that got her additional FREE product.  An "AHA" moment for me.  It is all about the customer service and not about what I need or want.

So, if there isn't a lot of foot traffic (customers) at your next vendor event - make the most of it.  Don't be "negative nelly" and just complain - network with the other vendors, make the most of the people who do come through the doors.  Take an extra 5 minutes to talk to a customer or someone who is interested in your products.  Practice the 10 second rule - ask everyone who stops by your table a question - then LISTEN!  Who knows they may hold the key to LOTS more people who may want your product.  

Tip for today - decide what is going to be your definition of a "successful vendor event" BEFORE you go.  Remember though the sales are great they may be short lived - wouldn't it be nice to also network with people who could help you to grow your business.  I am going to talk more about opportunities to grow your business in the next few days...

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Sunday - A day of rest

A day of rest - we all need it.  For some, it is for religious reasons.  For some, it is just a day to spend with family - you know the only day when the whole family is home together.  For some, it is sleeping late and catching up on some much needed rest.

For me, today is a blessing.  I am going to be spiritually energized at church with our amazing Pastor - JD. Then get to serve by being part of the count team.  I will wind up the day with an amazing group of Thirty One Sisters at Celebrate and Connect.    The NEW Summer catalog will be premiered today for the consultants and revealed to the public on Monday.  An exciting afternoon that will re-energize my business.  Over the last few years I have learned to treasure these days to rejuvenate my body, mind and soul.

Each of us need a day to rest, relax and restore ourselves after a week at work.  Pamper yourself today - whether it is a walk around the neighborhood, a trip to the beach, quiet moments reading, sleeping in or a bubble bath.  Find a way to pamper yourself for one hour and see what a difference it can make in your life or even your week.  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day.

Working for Yourself

Today, I am off sharing Thirty One at the Family Wellness & Beauty Day at Shido Martial Arts in Freehold, NJ.  All monies raised from the $10 tickets will be donated to We're Kickin It AntiBullying Program.  I can do things like this because I am my own boss!

When I first went to work, I never wanted to be my own boss but as I got older, had my daughter and saw what I was missing as a single mom - that changed.  I took the skills I learned in grants management for a non-profit and opened my first business "H.O.P.E. Consultants". I worked for 4 years while my daughter was in High School as my own boss.  Then I found a grassroots non-profit that I wanted to help so I joined the Monday-Friday workforce again.  After 6 years, I left that job that I LOVED (and hated - LOL) to go back into business for myself as a Direct Sales Consultant.  Why?  The freedom to make my own hours and no commute to work far outweighed the cons to owning your own business.  

Here is an portion on an article that was in Forbes about What to Expect When You Work For Yourself...

So do you have what it takes to be your own boss? Here are some hurdles you will certainly face if you decide to go off on your own:

Obstacle: It’s Just You:   If you become a sole proprietor or member of a small business, all responsibilities fall on you. Or maybe it’s not just you; perhaps you’ll have new employees or interns to manage, and this might be new territory. You’ll also be managing your own schedule, which can be difficult if you’re used to structure. You might be able to adapt to these changes, but personality can play a large role in what you’re comfortable with. Personally, I’m a bit of a control freak so I love having a hand in every aspect of our business. Time management took a bit longer to master, but I now know how to maximize my productivity.  Advantage: It’s just you! No more office politics, micromanagement, or working for someone who doesn’t appreciate you– the list goes on and on.

Obstacle: Blending Your Work Life with Your Home Life:  Most people enjoy that an office job gives them the ability to, both physically and mentally, leave their work at the office. This can be tricky to maneuver if you’re now working in your home, and could also be an obstacle for those you live with. You may benefit from renting a separate office space, but this isn’t always practical. After years of working from home, setting up a separate area for our books and “office” has helped us to stay more organized. It also prevents our business from intruding into every aspect of our personal lives– for the most part.  Advantage: No commuting! And blending might not be bad at all if you build your business around something you’re personally passionate about.

Obstacle: You Will Work Longer and Harder Than Ever Before:  You’'ve probably heard entrepreneurs say “I work from the minute I wake up until the minute I go to sleep.” It may not be like this all the time, but for the most part, it is absolutely true. It will be especially true in the beginning, as you’ll need to do whatever it takes to get your startup going.  Advantage: You will work longer and harder, but it’s ultimately for your own gain. Nothing is more satisfying than that! While you will make time sacrifices, you’ll also have more flexibility. I'’ve gotten over the fact that I will work during every Super Bowl for the foreseeable future (and I am a huge football fan!) because I have a trade show that weekend every year. But even though I work most weekends and many holidays, I ultimately have the ability to change my schedule when I really need to.

There are certainly sacrifices toward owning your own business, but for successful entrepreneurs, the advantages far outweigh the difficulties.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Spring has arrived

I LOVE the spring weather!  Temps are a little warmer and I can finally shed the multiple layers of clothes that I wear in the winter to keep warm.  I am ALWAYS cold, whether at home or out.   See, my hubby loves the cool weather with temps in the mid-60's during the winter in the house.  I, on the other hand, am always cold unless the temps go up to about 75 or 80 degrees.  It definitely makes for an interesting winter. In fact, yesterday was the FIRST time that I felt "normal" as far as body temps go.  LOL. 

This is a time for "rebirth".  I get to pull out my spring/ summer clothes - which surprisingly are a bit big from last year.  I guess the Weight Watcher's program is working!  YEAH!  Put on my flip flops (not good for the heel spurs but so cute) and pamper my feet with a pedicure every two weeks.  Do some spring cleaning around the house and open the windows to let the fresh air in.  

On the business side of my life, I clean off my desk using Julie Anne Jones method of organization.  Set my quarterly goals. Get ready to ROCK my customers and hostesses with the NEW Thirty One Summer catalog.  Finalize plans for attending National Conference in July.

So, as the days get longer and warmer - I will be enjoying walks at the beach or around the Brick Reservoir with my WW Walking Group, traveling to North Carolina to visit my daughter, heading to Atlanta for Thirty One's 10th Anniversary National Conference and soaking up the sun.  

Enjoy the arrival of the warmer weather - Have a ThirtyOne-derful day. 

21 days to Make It a Habit

It takes 21 days to form a habit. I heard that when I was in recovery and struggling my first few days to get clean some 22 years ago.  I hear it at Weight Watchers each week as we talk about the NEW 360 program.  I hear it when attending training for my business... you would think by now, it would sink in.

The reprint below is from Julie Anne Jones  and can be used in all aspects of your life:

I have a degree in theatre (I know, shocking, right?) and I remember hearing in a directing class one time that for every minute of a play you see as part of the final production, there were 2 hours of rehearsal (minimum). When I was directing high school plays, the cast of “The Crucible” actually bought me a t-shirt that said “Let’s go back” on the front of it because I said it so much (as in “Stop. Let’s go back and do it again.”).

Repetition is the key to success in your direct sales business as well. At my live trainings I teach lots of specific language for getting results, and I always invite them to script out what they’re going to say and then practice out loud until they feel comfortable with the new language. I can’t tell you how many times people have come up to me after a live event and said, “You know, I used to use your booking commercial and I got great results from it, but for some reason I just don’t use it any more.” I can tell you exactly why they don’t use it any more. Because they didn’t repeat using it enough to make it “the way” they did things, so eventually they stopped doing it. It didn’t become a habit because it wasn’t repeated often or long enough.

It takes 21 days to form a habit. 21 days of repetition (or in the case of your business, 21 parties). What is it you want to implement in your life or business that you haven’t been able to? Choose at least two things, create some specific actions around them, and then make a firm commitment to yourself to do them, without fail, for the next 21 days (or at your next 21 parties, or with your next 21 hosts…you get the idea).

Here are some examples of what you might choose:

• Doing an opportunity commercial at every party you do
• Coaching each host either in person or over the phone
• Making 10 phone calls a week to book parties and follow up on sponsoring leads
• Getting onto Facebook to post/comment at least once each day

Those are a few of my ideas. What are yours (and are you brave enough to declare them below and then actually implement them?)

As for me, my 21 days of repetition is blogging.  What about you?  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day.

Julie Anne Jones is direct sales corporate consultant, coach, and trainer, and the CEO of Julie Anne Jones, Inc. She is known for her authentic and easy-to-use scripting and specializes in specific language and tools for success in direct sales.

Ryan White Remembered

This past Monday was the anniversary of Ryan White's death. Ryan White was diagnosed with AIDS at age 13. He and his mother fought for his right to attend school, gaining international attention as a voice of reason about HIV/AIDS. At the age of 18, Ryan White died on April 8, 1990, just months before Congress passed the AIDS bill that bears his name – the Ryan White CARE (Comprehensive AIDS Resources Emergency) Act.

WOW! It hardly seems possible that 23 years has passed since his death.  It would be about a year later that I would come to learn about him, his life and how my life would be changed forever with my involvement with the South Jersey AIDS Alliance (SJAA).  

I began with SJAA as a community service volunteer - mandated to do 180 hours of community service.  I finished my hours in the weeks before December 1st, World AIDS Day but the people I met there kept me involved for 9 years.  Memories of Matt McCrossen, Web and many others helped me to put a face to the AIDS panademic.  I joined the staff of SJAA in 1990 working in Cumberland County where AIDS was a taboo subject.  My clients and their families became a part of mine and my daughter, Belinda's, life.  It was there that Belinda learned about diversity, compassion, giving and helping others.  She gladly shared her toys with others who had nothing.  Holidays took on a special meaning as we, along with my SJAA staff and volunteers, made them special for the children affected and infected with HIV/AIDS in Cumberland County.    

Also during this time, my roommate's sister was diagnosed with AIDS along with two of her children.  Que and Brittany fought daily for their life against this deadly disease.  Brittany was born the same day as my daughter Belinda and her battle ended quickly while Que lived to the age of 9 years old.  Belinda loved playing with Que, he didn't talk but they could sit for hours playing and talking in their own way.  

My years working for SJAA, then as Staff for the Cumberland County HIV Planning Council and a Board member of New Jersey Women and AIDS Network - were an emotional journey of growing professionally and personally.  Memories that I am grateful for.  People who taught me so much without even knowing it.  As I look back on the last few years, there is little talk about HIV/AIDS.  An occasional story in paper but not much else.  Some would say that is because there isn't as big of a problem or it's not a "deadly" disease now - only a "chronic" disease.  

The bottom line is that there are still people becoming infected.  We need to be proactive in sharing the stories that will prevent others from becoming infected from this deadly disease.  As for me, I will be looking for more opportunities to get involved locally now that I have moved from South Jersey.  I would love to help some families who are infected and/ or affected by HIV/AIDS locally - let me know via email or message if you know someone.  

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day.

Customer Service

Today's blog is about the importance of customer service.  As a direct sales consultant, I have found that there are many that sell the same product that I do so why should people buy from me and then continue to remain loyal to me as their consultant?  Yes, I am the "perky bag lady" who always has a smile but there has to be more to it.  Yes, people have fun at my parties.  But what is the real reason that I have loyal customers who when they encounter another DS consultant from the same company say "I already have a Consultant, thank you!"  

When I started doing vendor events and parties, I was always looking to just make sales - focusing on what I needed instead of focusing on the customers needs.  I wasn't really thinking about the long term positive effect that today's interaction would have on my long term goal of growing my business, making it my full-time business. I needed to learn how to not only have that one time sale but how to keep them as customers, building a relationship with them that lasts a lifetime.

Here are a few tips that I have learned from some amazing woman:

• Be yourself and have fun.  Don't try to copy what others are doing in the hopes that you will reap the same success that they have had in their business.  Each of us is different and as a result, we need to capitalize on our skills and talents.  I am not saying don't try new ways of doing things but if you aren't comfortable with that particular style - make it your own.

• Talk to the customer to see what it is they need.  Obviously, we are all looking to make sales but an unhappy customer will never come back to you for a product nor will they recommend you.  Case in point - I met a women who had been "sold" lots of the same product that I sell.  Basically, she isn't happy with the products that she bought because they really don't meet her needs.  After talking with her, we decided that she would look at the catalog, pick out a few things and I would come by so she could see if they would work for her.  I am giving her a personal customer shopping experience.  No pressure to buy just a chance to see if the products really will meet her needs.  I suggested that she may want to have a friend or two stop by so they could "play" with the product too.  Happy potential customer = happy consultant + repeat business + referrals

• Be honest.  This should go without saying...if you make a mistake, admit it, fix it and get over it.  The customer will be thrilled that you have corrected the mistake.  Don't know the answer to a question, admit it and tell the customer that you will get back to them as soon as possible.  If you don't believe that a customer will be happy with the product that they are looking at for a particular situation, tell them your concerns and why.  A wise saying "honesty is the best policy". 

• Build relationships with your customers.  Is their favorite print retiring? Favorite product being discontinued?  Let them know.  Send them a note for their birthday, post on Facebook wishing them well when they reach a milestone in their life.  Let them know that you thought of them - make them feel special  

I am learning that word of mouth about my customer's awesome shopping experience is the BEST marketing tool I have to help me in growing my business.  I am booking more parties and fundraisers but most importantly, I am growing my customer base by building relationships with people.  No, they may not buy at the moment and it may be a year before they do but it is okay because they have remembered me so that when they are ready to shop - they shop with me.

Don’t let your customer base remain an untapped resource. Authentic stories from satisfied and eager customers are more valuable than any paid advertisement. Strive for excellence so your customers will want to share these stories.

Check out this article on Customer Marketing at Direct Sales Education Foundation.  Some AMAZING advice/ training can also be gotten from:  Julie Anne Jones, Sue Rusch and Hope Shortt  .  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day.